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Food, Spirits, Observations and Excuses.

Maple.

There are no secrets in life.
Just hidden truths that lie beneath the surface.

"My sister puts up a front so the world won’t see how vulnerable she is."

"I put up a front so the world won’t see how.vulnerable I’m not."

I don’t want to be intrusive, but I want to ask my boss if he eats white flour.

I knew enough about Dexter not to start watching because I knew the fandom that would ensue considering he does exactly what intended on doing with my life… Apart from murdering people.

Well tonight I gave in. I’m giddy.

Oh, look, it’s Ms. Monroe posing seductively.

Or is she drunk/high as shit rolling around on an A-lister’s rug with a fur pelt? HMmmmmmmm…….

This chick at work is holding up the line asking this lady what kind of hair shes uses. Meanwhile I’m like, girl, I had weave before you had a hall pass.

The bucket of mac, DUH!

(Source: your-ass-is-grass-and-ima-mow-it, via punned)

Today I took a nap in my office on the floor during my lunch which I took early. I made a pillow out of my Loss Prevention jackets and I swear on Star Wars that if my boss somehow feels the need to question me I’m going to ask him: “How are your ovaries?”

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This is how it ends.
Cramps so bad I’m chewing up Midol and letting it dissolve under my tongue like a pill popper.

Maybe deja vu is the result of our soul recognizing, for a single moment, that we died long ago but because our life time is measured in years, we just don’t know it yet.

I don’t understand how anyone could be capable of making so much damn noise just eating a tomato sandwich.

Pull your life together.